Chaos + Clarity

What to Expect When You’re Not Expecting

I lost another embryo. This one was a girl. The only girl. Now there is only one embryo left. We learned about the loss on February 28, so it has been about six weeks. Once again there was crushing grief, but this time it came with a couple of new elements. The first is that … Continue reading

Loss and Recovery

My first embryo transfer didn’t take. After a million shots, two egg retrievals, three fibroid surgeries and one transfer, I am not pregnant. It was a boy and he didn’t stay with me. I learned on October 1 that the pregnancy test was negative. Then the ground fell out from under me for a couple … Continue reading

Fertility Warrior

It has been one year, one month, and fourteen days since I learned that my infertility treatment was going to be longer and more difficult than I expected. One pandemic, two egg retrievals, three surgeries, and a shitload of hormones later, I finally arrived at embryo transfer day. Last Tuesday, hopefully, at age 42, I … Continue reading